Misdirection
by JoannaR
Summary: Everyone's convinced Jane and Maura are more than just good friends.  What if they're missing the point entirely? Frostie.


I sit on the edge of Jane's desk and watch as she leaves the bullpen with Maura - headed for lunch somewhere. Three quarters of the men in the department watch them go. If Jane knew the way they looked at her and Maura together she'd probably punch them all in the face. But she's oblivious, wrapped up in conversation with the Doc. That's part of the reason most of the station is convinced that there's something going on between them. The point of contention seems to be whether they're fooling themselves, or think they're fooling everyone else.

Even Ma thinks something's going on. I thought Janie was going to choke on her dinner last night when Ma demanded to know why some guy was taking Maura out that night instead of her. "Why the hell shouldn't her boyfriend take her out to dinner?" she finally managed to splutter, after Tommy and I spent several minutes pounding her on the back until she stopped coughing. Actually, she's probably got some nasty bruises from that. But better bruised than dead, right?

Ma just looked confused. "Boyfriend? But I thought you and her were..."

Janie's eyes narrowed and her voice got real quiet. Tommy I both know that's not a Jane you want to mess with. "You thought what, Ma?"

Guess that Jane even makes Ma nervous sometimes. She started stammering and talking a million miles an hour - more than she normally does. "I just thought you and Dr Isles where, you know, dating each other..."

"Why the hell does everyone think that?" Jane demanded, reverting back to regular, irritated Jane, hands flailing, voice just below a shout. "It's not like anyone's ever, like walked in on us making out on the couch or anything. So why does everyone think we're a couple?"

Tommy just couldn't help himself. "Does that mean you have made out on couch, we've just never you?" I'm kind of surprised he survived that one, but she was distracted by Ma still digging her own grave.

"Well, you're always together, and you're always touching each other..."

"Italian, Ma," Jane reminded her, "and besides, Maura's family."

"But, Giovanni said..."

I think Tommy, Jane and I all rolled our eyes in sync. Nothing good ever came of a sentence that began with that douchebag's name.

"Maura went on a date with him, Ma. And then he wouldn't leave her alone. So, we told him we were together and that he was some hideous experiment that didn't work out."

"You mean he bought that, even after Maura went on a date with him?" Tommy was having a hard time wrapping his head around that one.

"Well, yeah. I mean, he believed in the Easter Bunny right up until high school. Besides, Maura bailed pretty quick after he asked for butter spaghetti then tried to lick her face."

"Gross!"

"I tried to warn her; she wouldn't listen. I should have let her fend him off on her own - it would have served her right."

Ma had had enough. "Hey! Giovanni's a nice boy!"

The look on Jane's face said otherwise. "Maybe. And St. Bernard's may be nice dogs, doesn't mean you want one wandering around your house licking your face whenever it wants."

"I just think you should be nicer to him. He always liked you, and he's always been respectful and polite to me. Which is more that I can say for some of the boys you dated."

"Ma, he spent high school trying to grope any girl who let him get within arms reach! He's not fussy. And the next time he asks Maura and me for a threesome I may just punch his lights out."

That was it for Tommy. He spent the next ten minutes face-down on the table, pounding his fist against it as he tried to get his laughter under control. Even the combined heat of Ma and Jane's glares couldn't calm him down. I was having trouble keeping a straight face myself.

Jane had heard enough. Leaping to her feet, she had one last question for Ma. "So which is it? Am I supposed to be dating Giovanni, or Maura? Or maybe both, that'd really make Giovanni's day." Tommy's fist pounded on the table again, but he managed to stifle his laugh."

Somehow Ma missed the sarcasm in the question. "Well, Maura is a doctor."

"Arggghhh!" The door slammed shut behind Jane.

We sat in silence for a few moments until Ma stood and started clearing the dishes away. "I don't why that girl has to make a drama out of everything."

So now they're leaving and I can tell from the way Janie's hands are waving around, and Maura has one hand pressed to her in either horror, or amusement, or both, that they're talking about dinner at Ma's. Suddenly I'm wondering if I can convince them to put on one more special performance. We could really clean up in the office betting pool.

Before I can think anymore about that I'm distracted by Barry sidling up next to me. "So..." he says, eyes flicking to the door, "lunch?"

"Yeah," I nod casually, as if this isn't the reason I'm here in the first place. "Why not?" You see, while everyone's been so busy seeing what isn't there with Jane and Maura, they've completely missed the fact that Barry and I have been dating for the last three months. Well, maybe not everyone. I'm pretty sure Jane knows; I've never been able to hide anything from her for long.

We're happy to keep flying under the radar for now. No sense giving Ma a stroke until we know for this isn't just a short-term thing and that we're not going to be back to dating girls six months from now. Besides, I can't wait to see Jane's reaction when Ma starts dropping her sledgehammer hints to Maura about grandkids.


End file.
